Taking in a- That's Not A Dog!
by ShinAyasaki
Summary: Yoshiko and Riko bond over their new favorite animal. (An alternate take of season 2 episode 5).


**AN: Special thanks to OuMiyuki; Without you, I wouldn't have given this idea a second thought. :)**

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Riko shrieked as the animal gave off a loud and bellowing cry that made the redhead's hair stand on end, and she leapt back and tried in vain to hide behind a lightpost.

"Isn't she wonderful?" gushed Yoshiko as she tossed a small stick to her new friend. "I found her on my way home from practice as she was hiding from the rain, drawn to her as if it were destiny! I fell in love with her at first sight, and now she's my very own familiar!"

The fallen angel leaned towards her familiar and extended a hand. "Hey, hey! Give me your paw," she coaxed.

The animal looked at her blankly as it chewed up the stick, before moving closer and offering up its nose.

"Aww!" cooed Yoshiko, "That's not a paw but it's fine. We'll work on training you later." Her face took on a thoughtful expression as she pondered something, and she looked to Riko for an answer. "Hey, do you think I can find a collar that'll fit?"

"Yoshiko-chan!" screamed the redhead in fear and exasperation, "That's an elephant!

.

"Please! My building doesn't allow pets!" begged Yoshiko.

"No way! It's impossibly! Absolutely impossible!"

The blunette pouted. "Are you really that scared of her?"

"Do you seriously need to ask?!"

Yoshiko looked at her blankly, then directed her gaze at the elephant.

"Go get her!"

And that was how Riko learned she could outrun a stampeding elephant.

.

The elephant howled in happiness as it made itself home in Riko's room.

"Please be quiet!" pleaded the redhead, "I haven't told my mom about you yet!"

Just then, her mom called up to her. "Riko? Is everything alright up there?"

"Yes!" called Riko, "Chika-chan is just being loud again!"

"Okay! Dinner's in ten minutes!"

Riko couldn't help but wonder why that had worked. Then she dismissed that thought and looked at the elephant.

"Oh. Are you hungry?" She hefted a wheelbarrow filled with peanuts and tree bark. "Yoshiko-chan said this was your favorite..."

The elephant tooted in happiness as it began shoveling food into its mouth with its trunk.

As she watched, Riko couldn't help but think to herself, ' _Elephants are actually kinda cute..._ '

.

"Hey! What's with this Nocturne business?!" demanded Yoshiko.

"It's sad for an elephant not to have a name, right?" replied Riko.

"I'm the one who found this elephant! Her name is Laelaps! Besides, I thought you didn't do well with elephants!"

"What was I supposed to do? You're the one who asked me to take care of her!"

Just then, Riko's mom interrupted their argument. "Excuse me, but I found this in Numazu." She held out a flier.

Yoshiko and Riko both looked at it. "" _Her name is Stampy?!_ "" they chorused incredulously.

.

Riko and Yoshiko each drew a picture of their elephant in the dirt of Uranohoshi's track field.

"Nocturne," said Riko wistfully.

"Laelaps," sighed Yoshiko.

Just then, Chika and You looked over Riko's shoulder to behold the artistic disaster that was Nocturne.

"What is that?!" exclaimed Chika in horror.

"Chika-chan, I'm scared," said You, "Hold me." She wrapped herself around Chika.

Yoshiko glanced over. "Satan's perky tits! What did you do?!" she shouted.

"Okay look," defended Riko, "I realize it's not exactly a traditional elephant, but-"

"It looks like one of Yoshiko-chan's little demons!" exclaimed Chika.

"Hey!" cried Yoshiko, "I take great offense to that! I have standards too you know!"

"Wow," remarked You, "Not even Yoshiko-chan will accept that as a little demon. And she's desperate."

"I feel so betrayed!" pouted Riko.

.

"Mari-san, why are we here?" asked Dia in annoyance.

"Since Yoshiko-chan and Riko-chan have been feeling down lately, I thought I'd do something to raise their spirits!" said Mari as she led the girls of Aqours in front of a large curtain. She smiled triumphantly as she grabbed hold of a large cloth. "I hereby present...!" She pulled it back.

"" _Your very own elephant!_ "" exclaimed Riko and Yoshiko in unison. They rushed up to the large animal and began hugging her and pampering her, Mari smiling all the while. The rest of Aqours just stared at them, judging.

"Can we call her Laelaps?!" pleaded Yoshiko.

"No way! Let's name her Nocturne!" retorted Riko.

"Now hold on you two," said Mari. "She's my elephant, so I get to name her." The two other members of Guilty Kiss frowned but didn't object. "And so!" declared Mari, "This elephant shall henceforth be known as... Eli!"

"Excuse me?! How dare you?!" shouted Dia angrily at this perceived insult to her best girl. She was so enraged she literally cicada-blocked the blonde with a seething hiss, a feat made all the more impressive by the fact that there was absolutely nothing supporting her. She was just suspended in midair in front of Mari.

The blonde casually reached up and lifted Dia's skirt.

"Oh my!" she exclaimed in delight, "I think we need to rename our song to _G Senjou no Dia_!"

Kanan quickly restrained Dia before she could hurt anyone.

.

And so, with a new elephant to dote on, Riko and Yoshiko were happy.

The members of CYaRon and AZALEA watched with disbelief and confusion as Mari, Riko, and Yoshiko rode away on the Eliphant as it flew off into the sunset. That's right, Mari bought a flying elephant.

Suddenly, Chika exclaimed, "Hey look at that pachyderm! Oh wait never mind, it's irr-elephant."

And everyone groaned.

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 **AN: If you've never heard of Riko's elephant before, you can find the source on youtube under "Trio da yo! Ep 1 Part 3", subbed by Eli Ayase.  
**

 **Also, while the official translation for _G Senjou no Cinderella_ is " _Cinderella on the G-Line"_ , I'm fairly sure an alternate (and correct) interpretation would be "Cinderella's G-String". You can figure out the joke from there. :)**


End file.
